Trauma is a silent burden that can affect anyone, but first responders are at an especially high risk of developing mental health challenges like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and burnout. The nature of their work means they are exposed to some of the most disturbing scenes imaginable, and while they’re expected to maintain composure during these emergencies, many are left to struggle with their mental health in silence.
Today, we’re sharing real stories from first responders who have courageously opened up about their experiences with trauma and recovery. These stories are a reminder of the resilience of first responders, but also of the importance of addressing mental health in the emergency services community.
1. Officer Paul (Police Officer, Retired) – Interview with The Guardian
Source: The Guardian – Article on PTSD in Law Enforcement
Quote: “I had to be strong, I had to be the one to hold it together, but the truth is, I was falling apart inside. The trauma doesn’t leave you, it just stays there, festering. You go to a call, deal with the aftermath, and then you go back out to do it all over again. After years of seeing death, violence, and destruction, it just builds up. I didn’t realize how much it had affected me until I found myself staring at my own reflection, not even recognizing the person I had become.”
Context: This quote reflects the emotional numbness and denial many officers feel about their trauma. Many don’t realize the full impact of their experiences until they have trouble processing their emotions or until they see their personal lives deteriorating.
2. Firefighter Emily (Firefighter, Retired) – National Public Radio (NPR) Interview
Source: NPR – "First Responders and PTSD"
Quote: "I couldn't sleep for weeks after a particularly bad fire. The fire was intense, and we couldn't save everyone. It was one of those calls where you know that no matter how hard you try, there are going to be people you can't help. I remember feeling this overwhelming sense of guilt. You feel like you're failing, but you're not. You're doing everything you can, and it's still never enough. That’s what PTSD feels like: the feeling that you’re not enough, no matter how hard you try."
Context: Emily describes the post-traumatic stress caused by guilt and helplessness that many first responders experience, particularly after a call where the outcome isn’t positive despite their best efforts. The emotional aftermath is often long-lasting, and it’s a key trigger for PTSD in the field.
3. EMT Mark (Emergency Medical Technician) – Firehouse Magazine
Source: Firehouse Magazine – “Mental Health Challenges for First Responders”
Quote: “There’s a lot of pressure on us to keep it together, especially when you're the one providing care during a life-or-death moment. But when you get home, you can’t just turn it off. One night, I couldn’t stop thinking about the kid we lost. I had to go back and check the paperwork to make sure I wasn’t imagining it, but the reality of it hit me all over again. I had trouble focusing at work, I snapped at my wife, I couldn’t sleep. You just carry it with you, and sometimes it’s overwhelming.”
Context: EMT Mark’s experience highlights how the emotional weight of losing a patient—especially a child—can haunt a first responder, leading to irritability, insomnia, and emotional numbness. This story underscores the impact trauma has on their personal lives and relationships.
4. Officer James (Police Officer, Current) – ABC News Interview
Source: ABC News – “PTSD and Mental Health in Law Enforcement”
Quote: “I never wanted to admit that I was struggling. I felt like if I showed weakness, I wouldn’t be able to do my job anymore. It wasn’t until I broke down in front of my wife that I realized I couldn’t keep it in. I’ve seen things—murder, suicide, children caught in the middle of violence. You can’t just pretend it doesn’t affect you. But it does. It’s not just the job, it’s everything that comes with it. The anger, the fear, the constant feeling of being on edge. You don’t know it’s PTSD until you’re already drowning in it.”
Context: Officer James speaks to the stigma that surrounds mental health issues in law enforcement and how it affects officers’ willingness to seek help. He describes the emotional toll of trauma and how denial can lead to severe mental health struggles later.
5. Firefighter Mark (Firefighter, Active) – The New York Times Article
Source: The New York Times – “The Mental Health Crisis Among Firefighters”
Quote: “I started feeling like I was losing myself. The memories of the calls—the smoke, the bodies, the screams—started to haunt me. It wasn’t just the big things; it was the little things too. You get called out in the middle of the night, go to work on little sleep, and see the worst things you can imagine. You learn to shut it off during the call, but the moment you’re alone, it all comes rushing back. I had to go to therapy after a fire where we lost a colleague. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but the best decision I made for my mental health.”
Context: Mark’s account showcases the cumulative nature of trauma in firefighting, where even smaller incidents, compounded over time, can lead to serious mental health challenges. His story also highlights the importance of therapy and seeking help to manage the emotional burden.
6. Paramedic Claire (Paramedic, Retired) – Psychology Today
Source: Psychology Today – “First Responder PTSD: The Untold Stories”
Quote: “You deal with trauma all day, but it starts to pile up. After one particularly brutal accident where we lost several people, I just shut down. I couldn't talk about it. I couldn't even think about it. I would just go through the motions, doing the work, and then go home and pretend it was all fine. But I wasn't fine. I couldn't sleep. I was angry all the time. I realized that not dealing with it was the worst thing I could do. I had to take a step back, and the moment I did, I found the support I needed. But I could’ve avoided years of pain if I’d asked for help sooner.”
Context: Claire’s story is a powerful reminder of the long-term consequences of untreated trauma. Her experience speaks to the danger of “bottling it up,” and the importance of addressing mental health challenges early on.
7. Firefighter Danny (Firefighter, Current) – The Washington Post
Source: The Washington Post – “The Psychological Toll of Firefighting”
Quote: “There are days when it feels like it’s all too much. The calls are never-ending. A bad fire, a rescue gone wrong, children in harm’s way... You get used to being strong on the outside, but inside, it can eat away at you. It doesn’t hit all at once, but over time, you start noticing you’re not the person you used to be. The anger, the fear, the nightmares—it all piles up. It’s a struggle every day to keep going, but reaching out for help was the first step to healing.”
Context: Danny’s quote illustrates the gradual onset of PTSD in firefighters and how the accumulation of repeated trauma can have a profound effect on their emotional and psychological well-being. Reaching out for help is portrayed as a crucial step toward recovery.
8. Police Officer Lisa (Police Officer, Retired) – Firehouse Magazine
Source: Firehouse Magazine – “Breaking the Silence on First Responder Mental Health”
Quote: “I kept going back to the job, but after every call, it felt harder and harder to pretend I was okay. I’d go home, sit in the dark, and replay the worst moments over and over in my head. The worst part was not knowing who I was anymore. I didn’t want to let my family see how bad it had gotten. But when I finally opened up to a fellow officer about it, I found that so many of us were going through the same thing. It’s not just you. We’re all in this together.”
Context: Officer Lisa's story speaks to the isolation many first responders feel, even within their own ranks. The stigma of mental health issues often prevents them from reaching out for support until they reach a breaking point.
These direct quotes from real first responders underscore the profound impact trauma and PTSD have on individuals in high-stress, life-threatening professions. The stories reflect the psychological burden of witnessing suffering and loss, and they highlight the importance of seeking help, building support systems, and addressing the stigma surrounding mental health within these professions. By sharing these real-world testimonials, we can continue to break down barriers to mental health care and provide first responders with the resources and support they need to heal.